I have heard that to really change, we must hit an all-time low in our lives. This low allows us to open our minds to a new or better way to live. I agree however, there is much more to it.
So many people barely have the basics of life but are striving for better. Surely they are at a low and seem to be trying their best to change their conditions. Why are they not getting anywhere?
Occasionally I will help hand out food to people in need. Many are “caught in the system” — relying on social assistance for the basics in life and because they can get more money from the system than by getting a job. This position in life can continue down the generations.
As I hear the conversations of the people eating their lunch, the belief that the control of their lives is out of their hands is revealed. Some outside force — God, government, their boss— is dealing all the cards. They themselves control nothing.
As I try to plant the seed of the idea that each one of them has control over their lives, I am met with total disbelief and denial. They simply cannot accept the concept.
Would I be open to change if I was in their position? Would I be able to think outside my immediate environment, break through the social criticism and make my own life? Why were so few able to beat the odds and get out of this cycle of poverty?
When I was thirty-two, I left a bad relationship with two hundred dollars to my name. Actually, I was very lucky to even be able to salvage that much. I remember thinking that I was only one step away from being homeless. Instead of feeling beaten down or allowing myself to give up, I started to think creatively on how to find a place to live.
Through a friend, I found a run-down apartment. I remember negotiating with the landlord: If he would allow me to live in the apartment for three months, free of rent, I would redo the apartment. I even included redoing the wood floor if he would pay for supplies. The universe must have helped, because he said yes.
With a roof over my head, I started looking for work that was easy and paid well. This job would hold me over until school started and I would begin to teach again. I took a job with Citizens Action Coalition, which entailed going door to door gaining support and donations to make this world a better place for everyone.
What was it that caused me to kick it into high gear when the chips were down? Why didn’t I just settle for my lot in life? Why did I strive for better? And most important, why doesn’t everyone strive for better when their situation does not please them?
One could say some people are unaware a better life even exists. This did not make sense to me. People do gain awareness of a better life on social media, TV, billboards, music videos — everywhere. Unless someone is totally disassociated from the modern world, they have awareness of living with abundance. So if everyone is aware of the good life, then why do many continually struggle or give up?
It was a child who answered my questions.
I was handing out soup and bread at a center for abuse victims. This girl of about eleven meekly handed me her empty bowl. “My mother says I am undeserving and you won’t give me seconds,” she said. “But I am hungry. May I please have more soup?”
As my eyes filled with tears, I replied, “ You are very much deserving of everything in life. Yes, of course, you may have more soup.”
Lack of awareness keeps people from striving for better —awareness of their own worth. Self-worth is knowing, feeling, and understanding that we as people, children of God/Infinite Source, deserve to live a life full of joy, abundance, and love.
We can see others living well and happily, but if we do not believe we are worthy of a better quality of life, we cannot and will not strive for it.
How many of us live with these debilitating beliefs in our lives?
How many of us allow ourselves to live where we aren’t happy or fulfilled because we believe that “life is hard” or “only special people, the lucky ones, make it big in life.” Why can’t we be the lucky one or the special one?
These beliefs are as damaging as a hungry child thinking she is not worthy enough to have a second bowl of soup.
The realization that I was one step away from homelessness did not cause me fear. It did kick me into high gear to strive for better. Why? Because I knew I deserved better. I wanted more, and as long as I applied myself, it would happen. If I had damaging beliefs that said I deserved what I got, I would indeed have ended up homeless.
So the world not only needs love, but self-love, which is the understanding of how important we are to ourselves, God, and others in this world. We can move the mountains and reach for the stars; everything and anything is possible if we only believe we deserve it.
This and this alone causes change to happen.
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.
-Chinese Proverb
Maybe we should add: Teach a man he is worthy of many fish, and watch him create a fish farm, teach others to fish, and help a community grow.
I truly believe the world would be a totally different place if we taught self-worth and possibility. If every person knew of their importance to each other, themselves, and the world/universe, we would have much less poverty, war, prejudice, and hate. It literally would shift everything.
Today when you find yourself procrastinating or not moving forward with your dreams/desires, ask yourself why. If the reason relates to questions about whether you are worthy of success, abundance, love, or happiness, it is time to start changing the beliefs about yourself.
Sound scary? Actually, it is a fun discovery and even more fulfilling when you gain the strength and confidence from believing in yourself and your own worthiness. Change your beliefs about yourself and change your world.
Light and Love always!
Alena Chapman
Alena Chapman is an international bestselling author, mentor, and speaker. She has been involved with the study of self-improvement and development for over two decades. Her focus has been on teaching others the tools they need to unleash the power within, to break free from beliefs that prevent them from growing, and to begin to love their lives again. Visit her at: www.alenachapmanlife.com
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