In movies and television today, it’s popular and celebrated to be mediocre. Many shows portray people living with dead-end jobs, messed up family lives, and even addictions. In watching these shows you get the idea that this is the way life is supposed to be, so just settle in.

The characters have lost all hope of a better life and have become sarcastic about it. They are stuck in a rut of family drama, bad luck, and may be using some form of self-defeating behavior to cope with it. They overeat, shop, exercise, play games, watch TV, or have sex in excess. We see this so often now that being stuck in addiction has become normal. Unfortunately, this leads people to feel like victims of circumstances.

The message seems to be that it is okay to be this way. It’s okay to be an alcoholic, underachiever, or obese. It’s okay to have a crappy job, to live in a bad relationship, or to have screwed up kids. Why should you change your life if you see it as acceptable on TV?

The problem with such standards is they set the bar too low for your life. I know it feels good to see someone else struggling with their life. In fact, many people shown in the media are far more messed up than the average westerner. We can find solace in seeing others more messed up than we are, as it makes us feel good about ourselves.

I do think it is great to feel good about yourself. I’m all for it. I think we should feel good as much as possible. However, I suggest we feel good for legitimate reasons. Let’s feel good because we did well in school, found a great job, or met someone special. Let’s feel good because we became a responsible parent or did a good deed. Let’s feel good for overcoming obstacles.

If your life is not where you want it to be, then you will naturally not feel good. Use this as valuable feedback that change is required, then concentrate on improvement. If we fill our lives with feeling good about falsehoods, then we are living a lie. I believe we need to have a higher standard for our lives than we see in the media. We want to be working to improve our relationships. We want to be trying harder in school. We want to be moving up in our careers or starting our own businesses. We need not rob ourselves of valuable feedback.

I’m not saying that we should feel bad all the time. Everyone needs to have fun in life and wants freedom from their worries. However, there are many ways to do this without lowering our standards.

If we lower our standards far enough we will feel better about our mediocre lives, and we can compare ourselves to others who are less fortunate. We can tell ourselves, at least I can pay my bills, and at least I’m not as bad as that guy in the movie. That may work for a while, maybe even for a lifetime. If we do this and accept being mediocre, we may even feel happy about life, but it won’t be a fulfilled life. The problem is, being mediocre doesn’t leave enough room to have dreams.

In order to have dreams you need to be better than average. Dreams require a higher standard, one that modern culture rarely shows us. Dreams require that we evaluate where we are and become dissatisfied. Only by becoming dissatisfied, can we take ourselves to a higher level. Yes, we will feel unhappy for a while, but that unhappiness becomes a reason for moving forward, a reason for changing our lives, a reason to fix that relationship, and a reason to quit that job. It provides us a reason to start a business, a reason to seek help for compulsive behaviors if necessary, and a reason for expecting more from ourselves.

People with dreams and vision have the stuff of greatness. Men and women of great accomplishment and wealth all have dreams, and those without dreams will end up working for those who do. Read the biography of any person of accomplishment and you’ll see that their dreams drove them. It got them out of bed early every morning and kept them up at night. They taught themselves what was necessary, or sought out assistance from others. They molded themselves into a person who could achieve their dreams and forgot about their worries, feelings of inadequacy, and shortcomings. They concentrated on strengths instead of weaknesses.

So the falsehood that mediocrity is okay must be replaced by the truth that we must live to a higher standard. We have a need to dream, to allow those dreams to consume us, and to mold our lives into what is necessary to accomplish them. The dreams themselves are important. We will celebrate their accomplishment and reap the rewards when finished. However, it is who we will become along the way that is most important. We will become a person who is confident, capable, and inspired. Become a leader who can overcome large obstacles and, more importantly, overcome themselves.

The truth is we all are extraordinary. We all won the genetic lottery and were born into this fantastic world. That itself is an amazing accomplishment. Now, let’s go on and live an amazing life that is worthy of who we really are.

Joseph C. Parker is an author, radio host, cyber security expert, and the founder of Program Your Life Radio. He is a published co-author in Here’s How I Did It (Stardom Books, 2014) and the author of The Rise of the Chosen Ones: How to Choose Yourself for Greatness. He can be found online at http://www.riseofthechosenones.com

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