In 1975, a young man who was struggling with what to do with his life returned home from college.
One afternoon, he was hanging out at his mother’s beauty salon when a respected elderly woman visited the shop.
She took her seat, saw the young man and couldn’t take her eyes off him. Every time he looked in the mirror, he saw her behind him looking right at him.
The woman saw something in the teenager… something he could not yet see in himself.
Eventually, she spoke what was on her mind.
Talk about great things to come
The woman said, “You know young man, you are going to travel the world and speak or preach to millions of people.”
Then, she wrote those words on a blue envelope and handed it to him.
Her words spoke to his troubled heart, so he graciously accepted the envelope and signed it. Then, he put it in his wallet so he could carry it with him.
Today, Denzel Washington is one of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood.
In an article published in February 2017, Denzel said the woman’s words really encouraged him when he was starting out as an actor.
Are we good or bad?
Even when they are struggling with something, I believe most people want to do good things in life.
Of course, some people strike out and do violent, hateful, and hurtful things.
While others just do things that are annoying like ride your bumper and then cut you off when they get a chance to pass you.
And children and employees might do something that disappoints or even angers you.
Instead of getting angry or thinking the worst of them, one remedy is to pay attention to them… if only for a moment. Look at their essence instead of the problem.
That’s what the woman in the beauty salon did when she saw Denzel. She didn’t see a teenager who was trying to put the pieces of his life together. She saw what he had the potential to be.
If you did the same thing, you could see that the person who was riding too close to your car, for example, is a nervous-looking teenager who zoomed into the high school parking lot soon after he passed you.
Maybe he’s just an anxious, inexperienced driver who was afraid of being late for school. Maybe he has a dream of graduating with honors so he can get into an Ivy League school.
When we really see others, they become more than the things we see as their shortcomings. They become like us, human beings who are searching for their own answers, their own capabilities.
Viktor Frankl, the author of Man’s Search for Meaning, may have put it best when he said:
“If we take man as he is, we make him worse. If we take man as he should be, we make him capable of what he can be.”
Which kind of person are you?
In her book called Balcony People, Joyce Landorf Heatherley differentiates between two types of people: “balcony” and “basement.”
Basement people evaluate others. With their critical judgments of people’s words and actions, they tear away at others’ souls. They make people feel like they are being compared to some unspoken ideal or standard.
Balcony people, on the other hand, affirm others. They cheer others on and energize them with their affirmations. They are genuinely interested in other people’s lives and always believe the best about others.
Whichever category you fall in, think about this…
You have the power inside you right now to take someone to a higher level.
There are people in your life that need you to believe in them– your spouse or partner, your employees… even your boss.
Below are a few suggestions that will help them build self-confidence and summon the courage to overcome challenges.
Let’s talk potential
If you have children or people that report to you, give them one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone: Belief in themselves.
Here are three things you can do to fuel their belief until they own it:
1. Develop a genuine rapport with them by showing them that you are totally invested in their success.
2. Challenge their abilities while giving them the tools and support they need to succeed.
3. Offer sincere encouragement about their capabilities when you see them struggling or getting down on themselves.
Speaking of someone’s potential builds leaders. Behind the development of every great leader was someone who believed in them when they didn’t believe in themselves.
Never underestimate the impact
of encouraging others
Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we could be.”
And, remember the blue envelope that laid out Denzel Washington’s future?
Well, today, some 42 years after he received it, Denzel still has it. That’s how much those words meant to him.
It’s incredible what a few words of encouragement can do for a person.
When you believe in someone, it helps them find an inner strength they didn’t know they had.
It strengthens them emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.
And it helps them achieve their potential.
Make someone’s day
So… I want to leave you with an assignment.
T.
Write three things you like about them on a piece of paper. Describe how the things you listed have impacted you or someone else.
Then, call them or send them a note, letting them know you believe in them.
As they succeed, you’re going to succeed. When you bring out the best in others, it will bring out the best in you.
We can do a lot of wonderful things in life. We can be a career builder, a home builder, or a company builder. That’s all great. But the thing that’s going to last is the investment we make in other people.
When I reach the end of my days, I’d like people to say that I helped them go higher and made them feel better about themselves.
How about you?
To more and better,
Sandy Gallagher
[Tweet “Make people’s day AND change their life: http://bit.ly/2eqrCOh #bobproctor”]
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