One word: Forgiveness

Have you ever heard the saying, “Hanging on to a hurt/grudge/resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies?”

I remember hearing my mentor Bob Proctor say that and thinking, WOW, that is so true! It was as if a light had been switched on. That statement caused me to take a long, hard look at what and who I needed to forgive, and let go (that, by the way included forgiving myself!). Sometimes those hurts can become very comfortable to hold on to. They make it easy for us to stay where we are and not move forward, to not trust again, to not live our life the way we are meant to live it.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of someone else. These hurts can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance.

But if you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who is paying the highest price. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude, and joy. Forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Let’s be clear about one thing, forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you get on with your life.

When you choose to let go of resentment, it does not mean that what happened vanishes. But what does happen is it releases its hold on you. In other words, it frees you. It frees you to focus on the positive areas of your life.

Forgiveness is our ability to remove negative thoughts and neutralize them so our energy can be spent on doing what we came here to do. We cannot move forward in our future if past issues muddy our thinking. If we think of our life as a room, the more past issues or negative thoughts, the more stuff and clutter we have in there clogs up our thinking, thereby also clogging up our ability to manifest. When we forgive, it’s as if we took a broom, and swept away the old clutter that is blocking us from creating the life we really want.

Vast beauty and opportunity live beneath those old emotional scars. If we want to move beyond the scars and into a healing process, we must decide to let go of any anger, bitterness, blame, resentment, or hostility toward others or ourselves, and commit to freeing ourselves from the emotional and spiritual bondage that holding on to those old hurts creates. Bitterness and joy; or blame/resentment and love cannot co-exist.

The decision to be free to experience and enjoy love, joy, peace, or freedom demands a release of negative memories/emotions and their hold on you. You will remain stuck in the past and not be able to move forward as long as you stay stuck in that past experience.

To be able to live in the ‘now’ it’s important that you leave the past behind. To accomplish this is to make a decision to do so. You always have a choice in every moment.

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. You can actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you, when you’re ready – but don’t wait too long. Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life.

When it comes to forgiveness, I love Michael Bernard Beckwith’s quote:

“Accept what is, either you control the situation, or it controls you. Harvest the good. Forgive the rest.”

Put down that cup of poison, and replace it with a cup of tea.

Mary Pawlus

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Mary Pawlus has been studying personal development, and mind/body/spirit health for over 25 years. She has a passion for helping people live a healthy lifestyle by making better choices. Mary’s personal journey has led her to develop personal development techniques that anyone can easily incorporate immediately into their lives. She believes that simple steps can create big changes, and help you easily develop a more fulfilling and purposeful life.